The one to bring it all together, to complete our family. We spent months debating on if we wanted have just one more baby. Weighing all the pros and cons of what four kids would look like for us. We went back and forth, and back and forth again. What finally hit home was advice given to us to think about our kitchen table in the future, and see if it felt like someone was missing. That right there was what put our decision over the edge.
It took a few tries this go around, which was actually unusual for us. We were always quite fortunate that when we were ready to try, it happened the first time. After a couple months of no luck we decided to leave it up to the universe. The next month we got our positive. I wept tears of joy, and maybe a bit of trepidation.
The Biggest One
Every pregnancy has its own nuances. By the fourth one my body was quite familiar with the process. What I wasn’t prepared for was the size. I have a small frame and short height, and this baby was the biggest yet. He wore me down. By month 9 I was ready to get him out! It was funny really. For the first time I had scheduled professional maternity pictures and was dead set on getting them done since he was our last. It was Halloween night (his due date was November 14th), and after walking all over the neighborhood to trick-or-treat, I had contractions kick in early the next morning. I was in denial, drinking lots of water and trying to stay calm as we still hadn’t got our pictures done. I contacted our photographer the next day and pleaded with her to see if we could do them earlier as I was convinced he was trying to make his appearance early. Thankfully we got them done, and I was now ready to have this baby.
Little did I know, he was quite comfortable where he was, and for two weeks…TWO OF THEM! I was experiencing what I found out was prodromal labour. I was very familiar with Braxton hicks contractions, I had them quite frequently with each pregnancy, but this was different. This was real contractions that would come and go, never quite consistent enough to call it and head to the hospital. I was exhausted, huge, and so over it. We attempted all measures to try to induce labour, but nothing worked. Finally early one morning, two days after his due date, I decided that they were consistent enough that it was time to go.
Baby Time
We arrived at the hospital bright and early with our oldest son in tow. When I got there I was about 4cm dilated. I thought for sure it would happen any minute, but we just weren’t seeing progress. I was NOT going home and luckily the nurses agreed that I was at least far enough to get to stay. It was a long day, but we got some special quality time with our oldest, explaining how the process would work, letting him nap, and having lunch.
Our doctor was busy with surgeries through the day. We ultimately decided that when he arrived he would break my waters to speed things up, and boy did they! He arrived in the afternoon, broke my water, and went off to do another surgery. I had done my last delivery with no epidural, so I really wanted to try to do it again but having my water broke amped things up to a whole new level. My contractions were not just one after another, they simply just lessened a bit before ramping up again, so I was essentially not getting a break between them. The nurse we had kept being quite vague on how far I was dilated. I was trying to determine if I was close enough to make it to the end with no epidural, or if it would be a while. I remember her repetitively saying how she has never delivered a baby on her own without the doctor. I think my subconscious brain was trying to put off pushing him out because of that. It will always be something that I am a bit bitter about if I must admit. I was tired, and a bit fearful that I was scaring my son with my moans of pain, then the cherry on top was the uncontrollable fetal ejection reflex of my body trying with all it’s might to push baby out. I decided to get the epidural. Relief washed over me, followed by the shudders. I could still feel the pressure but the pain was nothing compared to what it was seconds earlier. Shortly after the epidural (as I was at least 9cm when I got it) our doctor had gotten back from his last surgery and said it was go time. It took a couple of mighty pushes and there he was, beautiful. A singular light shone on him like something out of a movie and my heart skipped a beat. All 8 pounds and 1 ounce of him. No wonder my body had a hard time with him, he was over a POUND bigger than all my others! I was so thankful and overwhelmed with a flood of emotions. This was the last time I would ever experience this nirvana. It took a few seconds for him to catch his breath, which felt like a lifetime, but soon his precious cry broke through, and our world was completed.
The night that followed was serene and peaceful. Just the four of us admiring our sweet boy. His big brother was already smitten. I got a light shower while all my boys were in the next room enjoying each other’s company. Kyler tried to spend the night, but he ended up getting kicked out! It was just a policy of the hospital for safety, I felt silly not even thinking about it.
To my sweet sweet baby boy, I’m so profoundly happy we decided to take a chance on one more beautiful soul to join us. And I’m so happy you chose us, the same way that your brother and sisters did. I’m one blessed mama, and although life can be quite chaotic, I wouldn’t change it.
