There is one thing I wish I knew when preparing for baby #2, one thing that no-one warned me about.
The Guilt
I was in blissful unawareness when I was well into my pregnancy with our second baby. We were expecting a girl. I was reliving every moment of my first pregnancy, wondering how she would look compared to her brother, the differences and the likenesses they may share. But what I hadn’t comprehended was the amount of guilt I would feel that my first baby would no longer be my only baby.
There were a hundred thoughts that began to run through my head. I wondered if he would feel less loved, if I could split my attention between two. Did I give him enough time as an only child? Did we have them too close together? And many more.
She was scheduled to be induced due to a weight concern. (You can read more on her birth story here: The Fire Within). I will never forget the early morning drive to my sister’s house to drop off our first. The anxiety hit me and the tears started pouring. I was so overwhelmed at this life change about to happen, that I was saying goodbye to him as our only child, and the next time I would see him he would be a big brother. We arrived and as we got him out of his car seat I wrapped him in my tightest embrace and just savored his little arms around my neck. I was still pouring tears, giving him soggy kisses as we said our goodbyes.
Don’t Worry, it’s okay
The thing about these moments is they can feel so unique, but they are more common than we think. It’s totally normal to feel this guilt. It doesn’t mean you love any child more or less than the other. In fact I think it proves how much love you have to give. Our transition from 1 to 2 really couldn’t have gone better (although they do fight like cats and dogs now, but that’s also normal!) So I just wanted to share in case you may be ready to welcome another little life into the world, and hopefully put your heart at ease. Because I certainly WAS NOT ready for heartache it brought me!
Here’s the Kicker
Some more insight I would like to share. This happens with each new baby, not just the second. I felt the same way when I went into labour with our third. It was very early in the morning and I cried as I kissed their sleeping faces knowing it wouldn’t be just the two of them anymore. And again when I had our 4th and last baby, again early in the morning kissing all 3 of their faces. It’s a big change to introduce a new sibling and it’s normal to feel the emotions of that change.
